


Shades of Desperation

by WordGeek



Series: Shades of Deception [3]
Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Angst, Bottom Jack, Dark, Episode: s08e013 It's Good to Be King, Episode: s08e17 Reckoning, Episode: s08e18 Threads, Episode: s08e20 Moebius (2), Established Relationship, Humiliation, M/M, Missing Scene, Possessive Behavior, Prostitution (sort of), Season/Series 08, Wordcount: Over 10.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-08-21
Updated: 2006-08-21
Packaged: 2017-10-10 01:58:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/93962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WordGeek/pseuds/WordGeek
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Daniel hated fucking Jack.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shades of Desperation

For years, Daniel had dreamed of fucking Jack. When the opportunity presented itself, however, Daniel learned to be careful what he wished for.

The nightmare began just as Elizabeth Weir's expedition left for Atlantis, and for one brief moment, Daniel's life had been perfect. Overjoyed when Jack responded to his less than subtle flirtatious remark, Daniel plunged headlong into a seduction he'd been fantasizing about for more years than he wanted to admit. They kissed once, frantically, then wasted no time getting into bed, which was fine with him. He figured they could backtrack and pick up all the little dating niceties at some point in the future. Because he figured he finally _had_ a future-- with Jack.

That very same night, Daniel was draped across Jack's back, fully, deeply, gloriously embedded in his new lover's body, the most intimate and connected two people could ever be. He was almost mesmerized, feeling his balls gently keeping time against Jack's ass with each sweet thrust of his hips. Everything he'd ever wanted was right there in his arms. His life was finally on track. So much need, so much desire, so much of himself he wanted to give to this man.

But on the brink of the most fulfilling orgasm of his life, Daniel felt _-he knew-_ Jack wasn't really in it with him. He was devastated to discover that Jack had been faking it. It was a betrayal Daniel was not likely to ever forget.

_"It was never really there, was it?"_

_"No. Not like you mean." _

Cold. Calculated. Jack had been on the bottom, but in all the ways that mattered, it was Daniel who'd been fucked that night.

_"Just part of the job."_

Daniel was heartbroken, knowing that some unseen entity was mocking him -worse, that Jack was. He made a decision at that moment, an impulsive one, to see just how far Jack and the IOC were willing to take the whole charade. He told Jack and the invisible listeners that he'd stay, under the condition that Jack was at his beck and call sexually.

And it had been so. Jack reported to Daniel's office daily for his morning fucking and then occasionally, Daniel would call him up to his office for a late afternoon blowjob. Jack had told him they'd disabled the camera in his office to allow them both some privacy, but Daniel suspected what one agency didn't see first hand, was happily shared by the others. He'd never thought of himself as an exhibitionist, but there was a certain perverse thrill knowing that some unnamed group of people _-'they'-_ were watching him drill General O'Neill's one-star ass, and that Jack was standing there letting him.

After a time though, even the novelty of that aspect of it wore thin, and Daniel had a difficult time getting it up for his daily performances. It was tearing him apart, being so close to having everything he'd wanted for so long, and knowing it was all a lie. But he wouldn't back down; he couldn't. He was angry and hurt and stupidly trying to save face by pretending it didn't mean anything more to him than just the power trip of being able to ream out an Air Force General on US Government property.

He'd traded the dream of Atlantis for the dream of a relationship with Jack O'Neill, and he'd be damned if he'd lose both of them.

He'd been in love with Jack for what seemed like forever, and Daniel found that extinguishing that much feeling, that big a part of himself, was hard. He'd go to Jack's house and take him in the dining room or the living room, over a chair or up against the wall, making sure Jack came, making sure he enjoyed it.

_"You'll be gay by the time I'm through with you. I guarantee it."_

Sometimes while he was fucking Jack, he'd fantasize that they were in love with each other. He'd pretend for a few moments that it wasn't obscene, and that lie would at least allow him to finish. Daniel almost always kept his clothes on -it was just business, after all- and he always left immediately, never even bothering to say goodbye.

Sometimes he'd make it all the way home before he broke down and cried. He knew _'they'_ could probably see his weakness, but Jack couldn't, and that was what mattered to him most.

And then one night, Jack had admitted he liked it, wanted it, after Daniel made him beg. It had been humiliating for both of them.

_"I want you to fuck me... PLEASE. I... need it. I need you."_

"You're not ashamed for me to take you this way? You actually want me inside you?"  
"God, yes I want it! I love feeling your dick inside me... Just DO it... PLEASE!"

And after two long months, Daniel knew he could finally stop. He brought them both off, told Jack they were finished, and then went home that night and cried his heart out for what he swore was the last time. Then he packed up all his tattered emotions and the ugly memories of the relationship he'd longed for and only gotten a sick parody of, and vowed to get on with his life as if nothing at all had ever happened.

*****

For the next seven months, scheduled missions were mostly just interruptions for Daniel. He went where SG-1 was sent, on the lookout for anything that might be useful to his quest, because he had his own agenda now.

The morning after he'd made his deal with the Devil, Daniel had requisitioned a dozen additional headcount, and they were immediately approved. He started some intensive "Ancient 101' training and shuffled resources, and now there were fifteen people at the SGC who reported directly to him and whose sole function it was to research possible locations for ZPMs in their galaxy. Anywhere they'd discovered Ancient technology or writings in the last eight years, Daniel eventually had a team on site, translating day and night, ready to follow any lead.

He would get to Atlantis if it killed him.

*****

When the Trust hijacked the gate, everything came to a halt. Getting it back had been problematic, and the Trust had gotten away with the remaining poison, but after nearly two weeks, the SGC was finally back in business again. It had taken less than a week for the gate to be reinstalled, but Sam spent another eight days running nearly continuous diagnostics to ensure that it had not been harmed and that it could never be stolen again.

During that downtime, Daniel kept up a steady litany of commentary to anyone who'd listen, along the lines that he really should be part of the crew that followed up on the whereabouts of the Atlantis expedition. Self-promotion had never been a problem for him; obtaining research grants often required schmoozing of the most brazen and self-aggrandizing kind.

Teal'c seemed okay with him going to the Pegasus galaxy, and Sam, although somewhat distracted by the unfortunate incident with her Replicator double, had no problems letting him join the SAR for Weir's team. Daniel managed to annoy Jack daily for nearly ten days, religiously following the 'squeaky wheel' principle.

"Why doncha just hold your breath? You haven't done _that_ in a while."

He suspected Jack was trying to goad him into resuming their physical relationship, but Daniel knew that would never happen. Being intimate with Jack for those two months had cost Daniel's soul dearly, and he wanted nothing more than to put it behind him and forget they'd ever shared that ugliness.

And then one day, all the crap he'd gone through in the previous nine months finally paid off.

"Doctor Jackson," Hammond smiled warmly from Jack's chair. "Nice to see you again."

"Likewise," Daniel said, happily surprised. "We miss you around here, sir." He ignored Jack's heated glare beside him as he rocked on his toes. "So, to what do we owe this pleasure?"

Hammond smiled again. He'd pulled an awful lot of strings to do it, not the least of which was to agree to take command of the upcoming mission himself, thereby guaranteeing the linguist's prompt return. But he felt bad about the nasty way the IOC had used the young man, and was determined to make it right however he could. He figured Doctor Jackson had more than earned his place on the ship.

"I came to ask if you'd be interested in joining the mission to Atlantis," he said casually.

"You did?" Daniel wasn't sure which of them had said it. He could feel Jack tense up beside him, could almost hear the tirade he was cooking up to argue against Hammond's suggestion.

"He's the most qualified person on this planet," the General explained to Jack, "and the mission commander needs someone who can translate Ancient."

And just like that, Daniel was headed for Atlantis, and there was nothing Jack or the IOC could do about it.

Daniel'd been quietly smug while he was still in Jack's office, refusing to meet the other man's hurt glare. Then, as reality sank in, Daniel was filled with cautious optimism and then genuine excitement about the prospect of finally seeing Atlantis. He briefed his staff and started packing for his imminent departure. Jack was uncharacteristically quiet.

True to the way things usually worked out for Daniel though, the search and rescue for Weir's missing expedition started to fall apart less than twelve hours after it began. They received a distress signal, and then the entire crew of Prometheus had been kidnapped by one Vala Mal Doran and the Codpiece of Doom, and the mission went straight downhill from there. Daniel hadn't even gotten out of the galaxy. It took the Prometheus nearly a week to limp home.

To his credit, Jack wasn't as childish as he could've been about it. He even treated Daniel to lunch at the commissary, once he'd been cleared by Medical. "I'm sorry it didn't work out; getting to Atlantis," Jack said softly as they sat together at a table in the back of the room.

"You almost sound like you mean that," Daniel answered quietly, finding a trace of genuine affection for Jack down deep in his heart.

Jack shrugged, not meeting Daniel's eyes. "I ah, read your report..."

Suddenly understanding the direction of their conversation, Daniel sighed heavily and leaned back in his chair, balling up his napkin and tossing it onto the tray. He should've known; Jack would never change. "It's none of your business whether or not I slept with Vala, Jack," he stated firmly.

"Fine," Jack said tightly as he pushed away from the table.

*****

Missions came and went, mostly business as usual, and Jack and Daniel managed to be civil to one another, but not much more than that. Then the Tok'ra sent word that Maybourne's planet was in trouble. Jack let himself be persuaded to send SG-1 to retrieve his obnoxious ass, and as many of the locals as would come before they were overrun by Ares.

But where there was Maybourne, there was sure to be a scam, and this time was no exception. This one led to a ship left by a time-traveling Ancient hundreds of years before, and that was Jack's ticket through the gate and away from prying eyes and ears. He could've kissed Harry.

*****

Daniel was nearly beside himself with excitement about the opportunity to translate all the Ancient writing on the obelisks. What he'd thought was going to be another throwaway mission and a major waste of time, turned out to be the Ancient mother lode.

Once he discovered the reference to the time ship, he strenuously pushed Sam to mount a search for it. Actually _finding_ the ship and then sending for Jack to help them fly it home so it could be studied, was everything he could've hoped for. He was convinced this time ship was somehow going to get him to Atlantis at last.

His exhilaration was short-lived, though. When Jack's first couple of tries to get the ship moving didn't produce anything more than a few flashing lights, Jack declared they were out of time and ordered the ship destroyed, extinguishing Daniel's hopes once again.

Then, before Daniel could even launch into a plea for more time, Garan's people surrounded them with crossbows drawn, disturbed by the prospect of SG-1 taking away their illustrious leader. There was much blustering on both sides, and eventually it was determined that good King Arkhan would decide.

*****

Jack hurried to the village to set Maybourne straight. Ares was on the way, and he didn't know how much time they had. Jack had to destroy that ship and get these people packed up fast, so he could grab a few minutes to talk to Daniel alone before they headed back to Earth.

"Tell them the truth, Harry," Jack urged him. "Come clean on all this stuff."

"I've already arranged for an assembly of the village elders," Maybourne said somewhat sheepishly. "I'm gonna tell them we have to leave."

Jack watched him for a moment, then started off in the direction he'd last seen Daniel. He found him on the outskirts of the village, examining the writing on the aqueduct system. "Does it work?" Jack asked, looking around to ascertain that they were alone.

"Seems to be working just fine," Daniel replied, never taking his eyes off the writing. "It's modeled after the ancient Roman-"

"Yeah, I'm sure that's all real fascinating, but I need to talk to you about something."

Daniel sighed and dropped his chin to his chest, only mildly irritated. "What?" He was accustomed to having his historical observations interrupted for pertinent military strategy.

"Look," Jack said, his voice low as he continued to threat-assess the immediate area, "I know I promised you I'd never bring this up again, but-"

After being such close friends for so many years, the two men were completely in tune with one another, and Daniel instantly knew Jack didn't want to discuss Maybourne or Ares or civilian evac. "NO, Jack!" he hissed. "That's over! I'd _like_ to pretend it never actually happened!"

"Damn it, _listen_ to me!," Jack snapped, whipping his shades off and taking a step closer to Daniel, so he could lower his voice even more. "This is probably the only chance I'm ever gonna get to be able to talk to you without every agency in Washington listening in. There's not a square mile of Earth that isn't surveilled within an inch of its life - I can't even break wind without everybody at the Pentagon smellin' it! Give me five minutes, Daniel, _please!"_

Daniel saw how distressed Jack was and decided to hear him out. With a tight nod, he folded his arms across his chest and stared him down.

Now that Jack had a captive, if belligerent, audience, he wondered where in the hell he was supposed to start. He took a deep breath and dove in, talking fast. "The IOC approached me right after I got the promotion; showed me proof you were bi. They said they believed you had feelings for me; that if you could have me, you'd do whatever they wanted you to do. The wanted me to let you seduce me and then continue the relationship like nothing was wrong, so I could keep a tight rein on you."

He swallowed hard, desperate to deliver all the information as fast as he could; he wanted to make Daniel understand before they inevitably got interrupted. "I couldn't live with that lie between us. I couldn't stand the thought of you believing it was all good, believing it was just us. They were asking me to do the dirtiest thing imaginable, and I couldn't make myself do it.

"I chewed on it for _days,_ trying to figure out a different way. I hated that they wanted to use me to jerk you around, but I knew if it weren't that, they'd find another way to get what they wanted. Maybe something worse-"

"What could _possibly_ have been worse?" Daniel snapped through clenched teeth. "Can you tell me that?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I can," Jack hissed. "They could've set you up with someone _else!"_

Daniel didn't respond to that, so Jack continued on gamely. "Believe me, I _never_ wanted it to go down the way it did. This was the only way I could think of to 'out' them and still leave you at least some control. And I'd hoped we could..." he looked away and shrugged. "I guess that part doesn't matter much anymore, does it?" he muttered.

Jack glanced up and noted Daniel's angry stance hadn't changed one iota; that usually meant he wasn't buying it.

"Look, I- I don't expect you to forgive me. Hell, I'm not sure I'd even believe me if I were you..." Jack thought about it, rewound it, making sure he hadn't tripped on his pronouns or something. "But there it is." He spread his hands apart in some kind of vain attempt at supplication. He'd been going to throw in a 'for what it's worth, I still love you,' but Daniel's body language didn't allow for it.

Daniel shook his head and opened his mouth to speak, but Jack saw Carter approaching from behind him and shook his head imperceptibly to warn Daniel off.

"Sir? The village elders have assembled; Maybourne's ready."

"Can't he do it himself?" Jack snapped, frowning. "What am I, his priest?"

Carter merely shrugged and jerked a thumb over her shoulder. "You want me to tell him to-"

Jack ground his teeth. "Oh, for cryin' out loud..." and with one last sorrowful glance at Daniel, Jack stalked back to the village to join Harry on the balcony as he addressed his subjects.

*****

The space battle went well, considering, and Jack put another imaginary notch in his belt for Ares. Daniel made no effort whatsoever to talk with him alone before it was time to leave Maybourne's planet. As the farewell committee escorted them to the gate, loaded down with armloads of wildflowers, Daniel was already waiting at the top of the dais with Teal'c. Jack figured that was the only answer he was likely to get on the matter. Obviously, Daniel didn't believe him, and/or he didn't care, or maybe the hurt was just too big to forgive. At any rate, Jack felt a little better for having gotten the truth out at least.

He just wished he'd had the balls to tell Daniel he loved him.

*****

When they returned, Daniel immediately assigned a member of his staff to Area 51 to keep an eye on the engineer's efforts to understand the time ship. Then he tried hard not to harass her for updates. Also disturbing his concentration was Jack's little speech at the aqueduct.

Days later, he still didn't know what to think. Jack's story was wild, but then what part of their life wasn't? He vacillated between the extremes of being furious that Jack could be so incredibly stupid, and touched that he was apparently so deeply smitten he'd concoct something so fucking lame.

He wished he'd had the chance to talk to Jack more when they were on Harry's world, a place totally clean of listening devices and nosey minds; there was so much he needed to know! But at the time, he'd been so angry at Jack for even bringing it up, he hadn't been able to see straight, and he hadn't made any effort to get Jack alone. Now they were right back where they'd started, with eyes and ears everywhere and no privacy to work anything out.

Daniel thought about the past year and what had happened between them. A brief moment of joy, dashed against the rocks of Jack's deception, followed by two months of angry, vindictive sex. The only redeeming feature of the whole fucked up mess was that the IOC was still leaving him alone to do his work.

He wondered if he could manufacture a reason for Jack to go off world again, just so they'd have a way to speak privately.

All Jack had said was that he was sorry for hurting him. Not insignificant, better late than never and all that. Notably absent, of course, had been, 'I love you', and 'can we try again'.

Daniel wasn't sure if he even _wanted_ to try again. How did someone come back from where they'd gone? Daniel had treated Jack horribly, principally because the asshole'd deserved it, but also out of his own damaged pride. He'd never physically hurt Jack, and he'd made sure Jack climaxed every time he'd taken him, but there'd never been any tenderness in anything they'd done. It had simply been fucking.

After that first night, they'd never kissed again. That had hurt Daniel almost more than anything else. So much about real lovemaking happened before the clothes came off, and they'd done none of it. There'd been no holding or touching, no soft words. Daniel had never gotten to use his mouth.

Jack's lie had been ten months ago; they'd wasted nearly a year hating each other and expressing it in the vilest way imaginable. How in the hell could anything decent come of it now?

*****

Eight days after his confession to Daniel on Harry's planet, everyone's pal Kinsey surfaced in Jack's living room, drinking his best scotch. Jack resisted shooting him long enough for the ex-VP to spout a scam that would've made Harry proud.

Two and a half days later, Kinsey was a snake. No, really. An actual, dyed-in-the-wool, Go. Ah. Ooold. Jack had never liked that man, and while Jack'd been busy with his finger on Defcon One, listening to two factions of Russians playing tug-of-war with their missile silo doors, Kinsey had gone and gotten himself dead. They hoped. Couldn't've happened to a nicer guy.

Colonel Checkov was Jack's new best-est buddy, and everyone was sending attaches to each other to smooth over all the ruffled feathers. Daniel had asked for and received permission to beam from the Prometheus back down to Russia to collect his things and return home through normal methods of transportation. Checkov had winked at Jack and assured him that Captain Voronokova would take _very_ good care of Doctor Jackson.

*****

Less than a week after the Kinsey break in, Jack had another surprise visitor. If Daniel hadn't experienced the Trust's pinpoint monitoring capabilities with the whole Teal'c and Krista incident up close and personal, he'd've wondered just how sophisticated the bugging was and taken his chances approaching Jack to have that little talk. But the Krista thing proved that _'they' _liked to watch and listen and record, and only interfered if it suited them. Breaking and entering, murder, and attempted murder apparently didn't interest them very much unless it bought them something bigger down the road.

And Jack was sure finding a helluva lot to talk about with the wacko barber from Indiana for the last two days, and how fucking strange was that?

The more Daniel thought about the whole disgraceful IOC charade, the more he wanted to punch Jack in the nose. How dare Jack agree to use him that way? Even if everything Jack had told him about the IOC's motives and intentions was true, it had been Jack's decision to play it differently, to lie to Daniel about wanting him. Daniel could take the IOC's manipulations; hell, it was almost expected. But Jack had told Daniel he didn't return his feelings, and that was an even deeper betrayal.

That first night, when Jack said it had meant nothing to him -that _Daniel_ meant nothing to him- a little bit of Daniel had died inside. It hurt deep within, where most of his vital organs were, and nothing Jack had said on Maybourne's planet had made that pain go away. He didn't think anything ever could.

He was still silently fuming about it three weeks later, as he sat tight-lipped and only half-listening while Sam led a briefing. It seemed that SG-1 was on loan to the Jaffa in a strictly 'observing' capacity as the first phalanx of rebel Jaffa attempted to take out two of Amateratsu's motherships.

One minute, they were taking fire; the next, they were evacuating to the rings as waves of Replicators swarmed all over the ship. Daniel felt the beam take him, and when he coalesced again, he was weaponless and surrounded by dull metallic Replicator blocks. Instantly, the opposing wall grew shiny and morphed into a likeness of Samantha Carter.

She quickly closed in on him. "Hello, Daniel."

"What the hell do you want?"

"You have information that I need."

"Okay, what do you wanna know?" he asked, backing away as casually as he could.

"It's not that simple."

"Oh, no, it _is_ that simple. If it's all the same to you, I'd rather not do that hand in the head thing. Honestly, I'll tell you whatever you wanna know." He continued to back up until he couldn't go any further, not surprised in the least when the walls sprouted leg and arm restraints and virtually absorbed him.

"Honestly is not the problem. Unfortunately, to get what I need, we're going to have to dig a little deeper."

As she raised her arm and continued to approach him, it occurred to Daniel that she'd see everything in his mind; everything he'd ever done or said or known and forgotten. And then she'd kill him. He was as good as dead right now.

Suddenly, Jack's lie and their resulting trysts didn't seem all that earth-shattering in comparison.

*****

If Carter mentioned 'memorial service' and 'Daniel' in the same sentence one more time, Jack was gonna bust her back to Second Lieutenant. No way was he gonna cave in and admit Daniel was really truly gone this time. Not gonna happen.

It wasn't that Jack had a great big metaphysical thingy goin' on, but seriously, when you read the, _Jackson, Daniel M., PhD, yadda_ file all the way through, it was just insane to think he wouldn't be coming back. Maybe not waltzing; Jack might've been wrong about the waltzing part. But deep down, maybe even deeper than any existential shit could ever go, Jack knew that he'd _know, _it if Daniel were really, truly, _permanently_ gone.

And he just didn't feel it.

*****

"Is the Air Force the only thing keeping you two apart?" Kerry asked him. "Rules and regulations? 'Cause if it is, you're making a very big mistake."

They'd only hooked up twice, and now she was giving him advice about his love life. "And you know what I should do?" She'd come to the SGC as part of the Kinsey investigation via the IOC, so she knew everything. She'd known about him and Daniel when she came on to him. Of course, then Carter decided to just drop in to the house unexpectedly, which had been awkward, to say the least. And now there was just no telling where the woman was going with her advice.

"Retire."

Jack almost cracked a smile at that. "Again?" And just how was that supposed to get Daniel back? Back from wherever the fuck he currently was, and back into Jack's bed?

"Don't get me wrong; the Pentagon considers you invaluable to the program, but the President has appointed a civilian to run the SGC before."

Jack flinched at the mention of Weir's time in command of the SGC; Elizabeth Weir had dangled the prospect of Atlantis in front of Daniel, and that was what had started the whole mess; it'd ruined everything. If he never heard her name again, it'd be too soon. He put on his game face and gave Kerry a noncommittal nod.

She smiled warmly. "Just a thought." With a flip of her poofy hair –god, that had been an annoyance in bed- she left his office.

Jack stood there for a moment, thinking he should probably feel bad about being dumped. Sad. Depressed. Something. But all he kept thinking was, _'Wonder when Daniel's comin' home...'_

*****

Sixteen days after Daniel had disappeared in a flash of light from Brata'c's ship, he beamed back down into Jack's office. Naked.

After the initial shock of it and then the flag thing -which just got more comical the more Jack thought about it- and then getting Daniel checked out medically, there was the official debrief. Half the Pentagon flew in to attend, pencils sharpened, practically drooling. Almost immediately, Daniel's _'it's a long story,'_ turned into, _'I actually can't remember very much...'_ delivered with a dimple-powered smile so innocent, butter wouldn't melt in his mouth.

As the depressed bureaucrats filed out, Jack managed to keep himself from laughing out loud. He happily gave SG-1 a week's downtime, contingent on their mandatory appearance at his cabin in two days. He handed Reynolds the reins of command, and instructed Walter that nothing short of little green men landing in the Rose Garden of the White House should disturb him. With that, he gave himself the week off, too.

Jack stopped by Daniel's office on his way up top; partly for old time's sake, and partly just to remind himself that Daniel was really home. "I'm leavin' tonight to get the cabin aired out and stocked up," he said offhandedly. "You wanna hitch a ride?"

Daniel looked up from what he was doing, which looked a lot like daydreaming from where Jack was standing, and nodded distractedly. "Yeah. Sure."

Jack nodded too, a little stunned at the affirmative answer. "You... need a ride to your place to pack?"

"That'd be great. Thanks, Jack."

Jack made himself smile casually, as if he weren't blown away by Daniel's quiet acceptance. "Let's go, then." He gestured with his arm, and Daniel followed him out almost on autopilot, giving Jack a very strong sense of déjà vu.

Eight, almost nine years ago, a lost and lonely man standing in the gray corridors of the SGC. Jack had brought him home that first night, and they'd laid the foundation for a friendship that had prevailed against the gates of both heaven and hell, and a lot of shit in between. Jack fervently hoped they could find that again, in spite of everything that had happened in the last year.

*****

"It's really beautiful here," Daniel said softly to himself. The drive had been long, but he'd slept through most of it, and now standing on Jack's dock, looking out at the reflection of the sunset on his lake was very soothing. The quiet before the storm, he supposed.

"You should probably come in for an hour or so," Jack called from the porch, his voice carrying easily in the calm twilight air. "The mosquitoes are worst at sunset, but they're usually gone by the time the moon rises."

Daniel sighed and walked back up to the house.

"You wanna beer?" Jack asked, holding open the screen door.

"Okay," Daniel answered quietly as he passed him. The cabin was musty from being closed up, but homey, and the décor reminded him of Jack. It had the illusion of being safe; away from prying eyes and ears. But Daniel knew it really wasn't.

He knew they'd let him leave the mountain way too easily; he was certain _'they'_ were confident in whatever level of surveillance could be had out here in the wilds of Minnesota. Daniel found he didn't much care anymore. His recent experiences had put a lot of stuff into perspective for him and he'd long since passed the time where he cared about that kind of trivial crap.

He hadn't been entirely truthful with the authorities, but he didn't feel too bad about that either. After he'd been killed and before he'd been alive, he'd spent a lot of time in a diner of sorts. He'd learned some things, seen some things, and now he knew what he wanted. Suddenly, life was very clear and very precious and too fucking short on the mortal plane.

For instance, Daniel knew Jack had been telling the truth about the IOC and why he'd lied. He knew Jack still loved him and always had. And he also knew Jack had slept with Kerry Johnson. Twice. It surprised him still, how that made him feel; hot and dark and angry.

Jack handed Daniel the opened beer, and they clinked bottles but didn't voice a toast. There didn't seem to be a need to.

Daniel took a long swallow and set the bottle down on the table. "I saw you," he said softly.

"Huh? When?"

"While I was..." Daniel made a spiraling motion toward the ceiling with his finger, then slid his hands into the pockets of his jeans and began to pace distractedly around the small dining room, examining the sparse adornments in a very distracted way.

_"Really?"_ Jack asked, not terribly surprised. He was leaning a hip up against the wall so he could look through the screen door and still see the sunset. He glanced over his shoulder at Daniel with mild interest. "How's that work?"

"That's not important."

"It is to _some_ people I know."

Daniel grunted. The petty Taur'i with their pathetic technology and their even smaller minds. "People who might, even now, be listening?" Daniel asked, voice heavy with irony. _They_ could take a lesson from The Others about 'watching'.

"Eavesdropping even now," Jack confirmed, warning tingeing his voice.

"I'm sure," Daniel said dismissively as he continued to pace around the small wooden table. The watching didn't bother him anymore; he knew how to use it. "Anyway, I saw you with that... Johnson woman... and I didn't like it."

Jack's eyebrows rose. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me."

Putting aside the whole 'peeping Daniel' scenario for a moment -which was far too kinky to be avoided indefinitely- Jack was instantly on the defensive. "Look, pal, _you_ walked away from _me;_ I don't owe you anything!"

No, he really didn't; it was Daniel who had a penance to pay for treating Jack so shabbily. Unfortunately, Daniel only saw one way to repair the damage between them; he only hoped Jack would be willing to go along with it. "The hell you don't," Daniel replied softly.

"Just where do you get off pulling this jealous lover crap?" Turning to face the room, Jack set his beer on the table next to Daniel's and held up his hand, counting off on his fingers. "Lena? Vala? The Russian chick? Oma?"

"Oma," Daniel snorted, shaking his head. "You're an idiot sometimes, y'know that?"

"I'm an idiot a _lot_ of the time, Daniel; are you just now noticing that?"

Suddenly very serious, Daniel's eyes stabbed Jack with a piercing glare. "I'll tell you this just once, Jack," he said, making his voice sound as ominous as he could. "_No one else_ touches you; I won't tolerate it."

Jack's eyes widened in surprise at the blatant show of alpha ownership. "Fuck you!" He laughed out loud, watching Daniel's circuitous loop of the small room.

Still speaking quietly, Daniel replied, "No, you've got that backwards, babe; the IOC gave you _to me,_ remember?"

_"Babe? _ Who the fuck do you think you are?"

Daniel stopped pacing suddenly right in front of Jack and turned his shoulder toward him, shoving for all he was worth, slamming Jack the two steps back up against the wall and pinning his biceps beside him in one smooth motion.

"Who am I?" Daniel bit off harshly. _"I'm_ the one calling the shots here, that's who I am." They were face-to-face, mere inches apart, and Daniel let his breath bathe Jack's face for a full two beats before he took Jack's astonished mouth in a punishing kiss.

Instinctively, Jack grabbed Daniel by the shoulders, pried the two of them apart, and turned them both, using the weight of his own body to force Daniel back up against the wall. Pausing for half a second, he glared at him before he returned the favor, bruising his own lips on Daniel's as he kissed him viciously.

That was when the world tilted. Jack felt Daniel's body relax against him, and his mouth opened, inviting Jack inside; the equivalent of a tiger showing it's belly.

Jack was stunned at the one-eighty and after half a second, he pulled back, confused and breathless, and they locked eyes. He saw Daniel's angry glare soften just the tiniest bit, and to Jack it was like a neon 'welcome' sign. Jack figured Daniel must have something up his sleeve, so he played along -hey, he was a _big_ fan of ad-libbing.

He struggled not to let his shock and joy show to those agencies that were probably watching and/or listening, as he swallowed hard and tried to remember where the hell the conversation had been going just prior to that stunning kiss. _I'm the one calling the shots here._ Oh, yeah. Right.

"Oh, _you're_ calling the shots?" Jack spat with as much vehemence as he could muster given the confusing turn of events. "And what shots would those be?"

Daniel pulled his arms up through Jack's hold and then out, breaking it easily, then cupped Jack's crotch ruthlessly with one hand, while the other grabbed onto the back of Jack's neck, pulling him right in close. "You'll do _what_ I tell you to do, _when_ I tell you to do it," he whispered. "Have I made myself clear?"

The holds weren't insurmountable, Jack could've gotten lose easily, but plan B was looking interesting, and Daniel's hand on his balls felt amazing.

Jack straightened to his full height, but didn't try to pull away from Daniel's grasp; he knew Daniel could feel his dick beginning to lengthen. "We could maybe... discuss it."

"Words lie," Daniel said tightly. "Your body can't lie to me anymore. _Kiss_ me."

Jack winced to make it look good, as if there was real discomfort in his groin, when that was most certainly not the case. "Is that an order?" he snarked as his heart began to pound.

Daniel squeezed Jack's package a little more, narrowing his eyes dangerously. "Kiss me, or I'll have a sudden attack of amnesia and won't remember a thing your friends want to know."

_Bingo._ Either Daniel remembered glowy stuff he was willing to share with the IOC and the power hungry Pentagon, or this was the biggest bluff Jack had ever seen. Either way, he'd never know for sure; there was nowhere they could ever talk without being overheard.

So Jack did the only thing he could do; he leaned into Daniel and kissed him like he'd wanted to that first night almost a year ago, and had dreamed of doing every night since then.

Daniel opened wide and allowed Jack to take control of the kiss. Jack's warm, beer-flavored tongue explored the inside of Daniel's mouth, tracing the sensitive gum line behind his teeth. Daniel tried hard not to groan in response to the wondrous and intimate feeling; he didn't want to give anything to whoever might be listening.

The kiss was gentle and patient, suggestive and needy, containing all the hope and promise Jack could pour into it. He knew it had to hold all the words they would never be able to say to one another.

Gradually, the hand gripping Jack's package eased its pseudo clench and began to rub firmly instead, all along the side of Jack's already engorged cock and then down.

"Ah, fuck..." Jack whispered against Daniel's mouth as he reveled in the feeling of the strong fingers stroking between his legs.

Daniel pulled back just a bit, fire in his eyes. "No fucking," he frowned. "Not like that; _never_ again."

Jack met Daniel's gaze and saw the grief and sadness that was the fallout from Jack's lie; guilty baggage Daniel was carrying with him from before. "I love you," Jack whispered. "I have for a very long time."

"I know that, now. I believe it."

"Let me show you, Danny..."

Daniel nodded slowly, his eyes moving back to Jack's mouth. "In a minute." Then he leaned back in, lips open, wanting more kissing, more intimacy. "I just need to..."

Jack met him halfway, then used the couple of inches he had over Daniel to tip him back toward the wall, molding his body around Daniel's, letting him get a taste of his weight, his power, enrobed in the sweetest, most delicate kiss he could manage.

Daniel's hands came up to cradle Jack's skull, prolonging the kiss, really tasting Jack's mouth for the first time. He could feel Jack's cock, rigid and ready against his hip as Jack's body covered his own, gently squashing him back against the wall with delicious pressure.

No longer were they an angry, vindictive top and unwilling but complacent bottom. There was cooperation, mutual pleasure, and genuine eagerness in their actions. They both wanted this; needed it.

Daniel was aware of the snuffling noises they were both making as they each tried to breathe in between the kisses, and those real sounds were the melody he'd been looking for, for what seemed like forever. Some part of his brain was also aware that they were slowly moving against each other, hips pressing, urging; needy and expectant. Probably some kind of innate mating drive that propelled the male of the species to seek completion once stimulation had begun. Daniel wanted to come; he _needed_ to come, but more than that, he wanted to stay _right here,_ at this level of arousal, forever. Just kissing and needing. Loving and being loved back.

Jack was beside himself. Daniel in his arms. Kissing him. Hands in his hair. Mouth open, devouring him, eating him alive. Tongue combat on a level never before seen. He wanted to win. He wanted to lose. He couldn't get enough. The one hurried kiss they'd shared nearly a year before; the one he'd dreamed of, jerked off to, fucking _canonized_ in his memory, paled in comparison to the glorious oral lovemaking that was happening at this very moment. And they still had all their clothes on!

Jack pulled away reluctantly, gasping air into his starved lungs. "For cryin' out loud, are ya tryin' to kill me?" he smiled.

"God no, but don't... just come back here-" Daniel cupped Jack's face gently and pulled him back down and started kissing him again. "I need more of this," he breathed around Jack's lips. "Lots more."

Jack tightened his arms around Daniel and answered the kiss with pleasure, whispering, "As much as you want, Danny..." He didn't know what the rules were; were there any rules? Was Daniel going to want him to take the passive role again? He didn't have a problem with that; he'd take Daniel anyway he could have him, but god, he wanted to top! To feel Daniel beneath him as they rocked together, hot and tight and _together._ He _so_ didn't want to fuck this up again.

"I knew you'd be a great kisser," Daniel murmured around the kiss.

"Lips'r too skinny."

"They're perfect."

"I always thought-"

Daniel chuffed in frustration and yanked his glasses off, tossing them onto the table alongside the abandoned beer, then grabbed Jack's face again. "Shut _up,_ Jack." He planted another needy kiss on his mouth, this time with more urgency, his tongue seeking to top Jack's.

Jack melted into the kiss, grabbing Daniel's ass with both hands. He turned his body a little and slid his leg in between Daniel's and was gratified when the other man began to hump his thigh. Denim rubbing against denim sounding loud and thrilling in the still evening air.

Then suddenly, Daniel pushed Jack away, trying to hold him at a distance, eyes closed, frowning in concentration. "Damn you," he muttered, grabbing his own crotch tightly.

"I have a bed," Jack whispered in Daniel's ear, smiling at his predicament. He hadn't any idea when he asked Daniel to come up early with him that this could possibly happen. They'd been best friends once; Jack's greatest hope was that they could somehow begin to re-build that friendship. Now, it seemed that his very horny friend was bent on sucking Jack's tongue out of his mouth, and Jack wanted to help him do just that.

"Come to bed with me," Jack coaxed. _"Please."_ He didn't want to do whatever they were going to do up against a wall.

Daniel opened his eyes and peered at Jack warily. "Will there be more kissing?"

"Oh, I'd count on it," Jack nodded sagely. He extended his hand and Daniel took it, following Jack toward the master bedroom in the back, passing the smaller room Jack'd set Daniel's bag in earlier.

As Jack began unbuttoning Daniel's shirt, he asked softly, "So... this exclusivity you're demanding..."

"Non-negotiable."

"I see," Jack nodded, pursing his lips. "Does that go both ways, by any chance?"

Daniel raised a careful eyebrow. "You think you can give me everything I need?"

Jack pushed the shirt off Daniel's shoulders, letting it spill onto the floor. "If you give me the chance," he said seriously, "I think this could be the best thing that's ever happened to either of us..."

Daniel reached into the front pocket of his jeans and pulled out a small bottle of lube, which he held out to Jack. "Let's see what you've got, then," he said softly.

Jack smiled and snagged the bottle. He still wasn't sure just how much of what Daniel was saying and doing was for the benefit of the surveillance and how much was how Daniel really felt about things; all Jack could do was play this by ear. Daniel had decreed there'd be no more fucking; that was fine with Jack, because he'd always preferred lovemaking, himself. Daniel handing him the lube was a trust Jack intended to honor with solemn devotion and singular determination.

Jack had no problem with exclusivity, either; in fact he preferred it, as long as it went both ways. This whole thing had the feeling of a job interview, and although that rankled a bit, Jack was determined to give it his all.

He took Daniel into his arms and made love to him with everything he had. There was more kissing, lots of it, and still they managed to strip pretty efficiently. Once on the bed, there were gasps of pleasure at their combined nudity, warm limbs intertwining and stroking, hard dicks rasping, all of it intimacy which Daniel hadn't permitted since that first fateful night more than a year ago.

The bedsprings complained of disuse; too long since Jack's old bed had seen the weight of another, witnessed the sounds of loving. As they moved, the noise of the springs fell into the background, lost in the music their sighs made.

"You feel so good next to me," Jack breathed as he covered Daniel's body with his own. He leaned in to bury his face in Daniel's neck, inhaling his scent and kissing up the taste of him there as his hand stroked along Daniel's smooth side, and his dick made itself a temporary home next to Daniel's.

There was so much Jack had imagined doing with him; it was all he'd thought about while he was forced to stand still and let Daniel fuck him for two months. His hole clenched now, as he remembered the cold sex they'd endured, and his hips shuddered involuntarily, causing enough friction that both of them moaned out loud.

At this point, Jack wasn't sure he was going to last long enough to pass the job interview. The feel of Daniel's firm, warm body beneath his was something he'd dreamed about for a long time, and he was perilously close to the edge.

As if reading his mind, Daniel nudged Jack's head up to face him. "There's no hurry now," he promised softly. "We have all the time we need; we'll get to all of it eventually."

Jack smiled and kissed him deeply.

When the kiss ended, Daniel bumped Jack's groin with his hip. "I'd love to feel that inside me. Slow-" he licked teasingly at Jack's lips. "And deep."

Daniel licked Jack's lips again, causing him to moan out loud. Jack figured he could do deep without any difficulty, but slow might be more problematic, considering how close he was. Then Daniel wrapped his one free leg around Jack's back and arched his hips, crashing their cocks together and ripping a groan out of Jack.

"Unless that's how you wanna get off," Jack said tightly, "you'd better take it easy with that kind of thing."

"I need you..." Daniel whispered, drawing Jack's head back toward his mouth so he could engulf Jack's ear with his moist breath. "Don't try and drag this out for my benefit, Jack; you're gonna rupture something."

Jack chuckled and raised himself up on his arms. "You don't know the half of it," he said cryptically. He felt like he had the weight of their whole relationship riding on this one performance. He'd made a mistake before -a bad one- and he couldn't live with knowing he'd screwed them up again.

"Look, I... I don't have any condoms here," he said uneasily, "but I-"

"Used them with Kerry," Daniel finished for him. "Yes, I know. Can we not mention her ever again as long as we both shall live?" he bristled.

Jack pursed his lips at Daniel's choice of words. "Um, I do."

"Exxxxcellent," Daniel replied. He raised his arms over his head wantonly and worked his left leg out from under Jack so he could use both legs to bring Jack's torso back down against his own again, digging his heel into Jack's tailbone. "If you wouldn't mind so very much getting the hell in with it, then," he said smugly.

Jack smiled, realizing that Daniel's subtle distraction had just bought him enough control to get the job done. What a team they made.

Jack kissed Daniel quickly, "Be right back," and started to slide down Daniel's body, kissing and licking his way across the smooth expanse of chest and belly, then back up to suckle each nipple lovingly in turn. He knew Daniel was expecting him to go down on him, but Jack had been there, done that. What he wanted most right now, was to taste all the bits Daniel had kept covered before.

He lavished oral praise on each nipple until it turned dark and pointed and Daniel's gasps were audible, then moved on to trace his tongue along each rib, feeling soft, golden hairs leading him south. At the last minute, he detoured and licked the inside of Daniel's thigh and was rewarded with a surprised yelp, followed by an impatient twitch of Daniel's cock.

As he felt Jack move lower, Daniel opened his legs wider, sighing in contentment. Feeling Jack adoring him with his mouth this way was everything he'd ever dreamed it could be, and completely different from the forced blowjobs. He tried hard to let these memories overwrite the bitter taste of what had come before.

Jack pushed his face into Daniel's groin, inhaling deeply, tonguing the loose sac and then scraping his beard across the wet skin, watching it tighten up before his eyes.

"Aw, fuck..." Daniel breathed, pulling his knees back and apart, offering himself, offering Jack everything he'd withheld before.

"God, Daniel... in a minute," Jack complained, nearly overwhelmed by the sensuous sight, and Daniel's musky scent, and wanting to do it all _right now._ "Stop rushin' me, for cryin' out loud." Jack wanted to see if he could get both Daniel's balls in his mouth at the same time. He wanted to taste his beautiful ass, he wanted-

"God, Jack... I need-"

"I know, I know, I'm gettin' to it," Jack grumbled. He shifted around, snagged the lube and then took Daniel's dick in his mouth all in one go, causing him to arch up. Mewling ensued, as Jack moved Daniel's foreskin with his lips, the way he knew Daniel liked, accompanied by first one, then two, then three of Jack's fingers, pressed deeply into his ass.

"God, Danny, you're so tight..." Jack whimpered in awe, nudging Daniel's dripping dick with his face.

"I'm a damn _virgin_ again, Jack, what the hell did you expect!" Daniel panted.

Jack withdrew his fingers and moved back up Daniel's body, kissing him deeply. "That is... So. Hot..." he murmured, nibbling at Daniel's open mouth.

Daniel laughed out loud at Jack's nearly stoned expression above him. "Well, if you'd stop all this god damn _talking_ and just _do_ something already, maybe we could take care of that little inconvenience," he begged a little desperately.

With a subtle shift of his hips, Jack was already at Daniel's entrance, his dick gently prodding the opening. _I'm first, I'm first, I'm first,_ he chanted silently, and then he rose up on his toes and continued to pulse his dick against the tight pucker. As the head popped through the first ring of muscle, Daniel gasped, arching his shoulders, head back, knees held wide. In all of Jack's daydreams, he'd never come close to imagining how beautiful this sight would be; Daniel holding himself completely open this way... like a gift.

Jack listened to Daniel groan as he continued to lean into it, slowly opening him up, creating a space for himself inside Daniel's body; making himself at home there. "Bear down," he whispered, "Let me inside you, Danny."

"I don't remember it hurting this much," Daniel panted, "You must be hung like a fucking horse!"

"Just average, I'm afraid," Jack whispered modestly. "It's you; you're so goddamn tight. _God_ you feel good!" He rested his forehead on Daniel's chest, nearly dizzy with the way his dick was being squeezed.

"Jack, just do it!"

"No," Jack said firmly. "I won't hurt you." Too much of what they'd had together so far had been about nothing but pain and humiliation. There was no way he wanted to bring that forward; he wanted this to be a fresh start for both of them.

"I want you in me! Just push, for godsake; get it over with!" Daniel groaned, gripping handfuls of sheets as he tried to bear down long enough for Jack to pop through the stubborn ring of muscle.

"Uh-uh."

"Oh, god... just _kiss_ me, then!"

Jack did, swallowing Daniel's sobs as he continued to pulse his cock into Daniel's passage until the muscle finally relaxed, and he slid in the rest of the way all at once.

"Ohhhh!" Daniel cried out through clenched teeth. "_God_thatburns!"

"Shhh... I'm in, I'm in..." Jack soothed in comforting tones. Daniel was breathing heavily beneath him, and Jack tried hard not to notice how good it felt when Daniel's hole rhythmically clenched around his dick, or how soft Daniel's dick had become between them because of the pain.

"Just relax, Danny..." Jack rained tiny comforting kisses along Daniel's slightly scratchy cheeks, waiting for him to say he was ready for Jack to move. And _god_ how he wanted to move. "Are we good?" Jack asked anxiously.

Daniel clenched his ass muscles deliberately, making Jack howl, then he chuckled. "Yeah, Jack, I think we're good," he panted. "Why? Didja wanna move or something?"

"Oh, y'think?"

"Then do it," Daniel said huskily, "Or do you want me to _pull_ the come out of you?" he threatened, clenching and releasing and clenching again.

"Nah, I think I prefer the old fashioned way," Jack grunted, setting his jaw against Daniel's teasing clenches. His hips rolled of their own volition as he rose up and delivered a slow, bone-melting slide into the man beneath him. "We can save all that new-age stuff for next time," he breathed roughly as he touched bottom.

As slow and steady and deep as Jack could manage, he was totally focused on Daniel's expression, his closed eyes, the way his tongue darted out to wet his lips, parched now from dragging so many tortured gasps across them. Jack changed the angle subtly every couple of strokes until- judging from the change in Daniel's whimpering -he'd found his virgin prostate, and how fucking cool was _that?_ Then Jack homed in on it, tagging it with nearly every pass. He felt Daniel's cock begin to fill against his belly as the agony of the initial breech was masked by the new, delicious fire in his gland.

Jack watched as the sensations began to mount for Daniel, straining and sweating and groaning beneath him. Jack tried to stay focused; he wanted so badly to be able to hold on long enough to make Daniel climax this way, to make up for everything.

Jack leaned in further, nearly bending Daniel double, and latched onto his lover's mouth in a desperate kiss. "God, Danny, please..."

Daniel moaned into the kiss, then opened his eyes and let Jack watch him come.

"Oh, yeah..." Jack whispered, his own climax beginning. _"God,_ yeah..."

*****

They lay side by side under the Jack's grandmother's double ring quilt, tired and sated. Daniel was more than a little sore, but pleased with how the evening had turned out so far. "You have to tell Sam and Teal'c about us," he said softly.

"Are you _nuts?"_ Jack was sure the IOC would have something to say about that.

"I'm very serious, Jack. Sam's in a real bad place right now. She's confused as hell, and with Jacob gone, she's got no support system. She's making some incredibly bad decisions, and if you don't do something, she's gonna crash and burn."

"How do you know-"

"Will you stop _asking_ me that, and just believe I _do_ know?" Daniel snapped. He didn't need to have otherworldly knowledge to see the state his friend was in, in the wake of her father's recent death. And he'd made a casual remark to her about Pete, and Sam had sadly told him she'd let him go.

As her friend, he hurt for her. As Jack's lover, Daniel needed his claim stated clearly and soon. No good would come of keeping them a secret from the team; their family.

"Sorry, it's just..."

Daniel turned onto this side, throwing his leg over Jack's and resting his head on Jack's shoulder. Then he reached across Jack's middle to grasp his free hand under the covers. "She's been in love with you nearly as long as I have," he said softly.

Jack peered down at the top of Daniel's head and thought maybe his heart was gonna explode. "What am I supposed to say to her?" he whispered, tightening his arm around the other man.

"Tell her the truth," Daniel said simply. "Tell her you're mine."

Jack's heart lurched painfully as he waited to hear if he'd passed the job interview. "Exclusive?" he whispered.

"Absolutely."

Jack was so choked up he couldn't speak. He wanted to say something pithy. Or manly. Or spectacularly mushy. But not surprisingly, actual words failed him. He felt Daniel's hand move inside his own, and he opened his fingers so they could intertwine them, but Daniel shook him off.

"Wha-"

"Shhh," Daniel instructed firmly. Then he reached for Jack's hand again, curling his fist loosely inside of Jack's.

"I don't-" Jack started, then Daniel's fist formed an easily recognizable 'freeze' signal inside Jack's hand, and Jack stilled immediately. Every civilian member of each SG team was taught to recognize and perform the hand singles for Close Range Engagement before they were allowed through the gate, and Daniel was no exception. Jack held his hand loose and still around Daniel's and waited.

Daniel performed a series of unrecognizable gestures within the circle of Jack's hand, then formed the CRE signal for 'stop'. Jack paid close attention and once again, Daniel repeated the same five distinct gestures, ending in 'stop'.

Jack understood the game now, but he didn't speak the language. Daniel was spelling words to him using the only language the IOC and all their pals couldn't intercept because they couldn't see it, nor hear it. Jack didn't know what it was called, but he'd seen the movie; it was the sign language that had freed Helen Keller from her silent prison.

Jack flattened his hand and moved it laterally, using the CRE signal for 'I don't understand', then gently circled Daniel's fingers once again and waited.

Daniel smiled; Jack had caught on even faster than he'd expected. It would take him a while to teach Jack to understand the manual alphabet, and longer for Jack to be able to actually use it, but he'd caught on to Latin pretty quickly once, so Daniel had hope this would work at least as well. This was the only way the two of them could communicate that was completely private.

Daniel raised himself up on one elbow and leaned down to kiss Jack softly, then spelled the words inside Jack's hand once again as he spoke them out loud for the first time. "I. Luv. U."

*****

Carter and Teal'c arrived together the following afternoon. After they'd brought their stuff in from the rental car, Daniel snagged Teal'c and an empty cooler for a run into town for supplies. They took the scenic route and -skipping the part about surveillance and deception and a year's worth of wasted time- Daniel explained that he and Jack were now lovers. Teal'c seemed unsurprised by this news, and offered his congratulations.

Daniel couldn't help but grin, ridiculously smug and proud. "Thanks, Teal'c."

"And that is why we are on a quest for undomesticated waterfowl, is it not? So that O'Neill may break the same news to Colonel Carter in our absence?"

Daniel tried to hide his smile. "No wild goose chase, Teal'c, we're really gonna get a case of cold Guinness and some munchies..." He glanced to the seat beside him, and received the full force of Teal'c's 'Eyebrow of Disbelief'. He cleared his throat and amended his statement reluctantly. "Because Jack's probably gonna need 'em once he breaks the news to Sam."

Teal'c inclined his head knowledgably. "It is my understanding that Colonel Carter and Pete Shanahan have parted ways."

"Yeaaaah..." Daniel drawled. "Well, maybe that can be salvaged too..."

*****

To Daniel's surprise, Sam didn't seem to want to immediately push him into the lake. When he and Teal'c returned to the cabin with the beer, she and Jack were on the dock fishing. Her eyes were a little red, but she managed to find a smile and told him she was happy for them.

Daniel sat down on the dock beside her and took her hand -the one that wasn't holding the pointless fishing rod- into both of his. He squinted up at her, and smiled sheepishly. "I have another confession to make," he said gently.

She looked stricken, but was stopped from saying anything when her cell phone rang. She handed Daniel the rod and pulled the phone from her pocket, frowning at the caller ID. Then she looked at Daniel again, her jaw dropping open. The phone buzzed for a second time.

"Answer it," he urged her softly. "He loves you."

Sam flipped the phone open as she left the dock, walking back down the driveway for privacy. "Hello?... Pete?... Oh, my god, how did you..."

Jack smiled down at Daniel and shook his head fondly. "You are _such_ a Yenta."

*****

Catherine's funeral was held two weeks to the day that Jack and Daniel became lovers. Her death had been a shock, but it wasn't a big surprise, Daniel supposed, that she would follow Earnest by less than a month.

She'd lived long enough for Daniel to confide in her about his and Jack's relationship, and she'd been thrilled for them; she hadn't seemed all that surprised, either, come to think of it.

The delivery of her estate to Daniel's office at the SGC _was_ a surprise, and Daniel began to work his way though the artifacts randomly, like a kid on Christmas morning.

The second book he opened and started flipping through was the 1889 edition of 'The Eye of the Sun', a very rare tome. A dozen pages into it, he found an illustration depicting various rituals of the Sun god, with Ra holding out what appeared to be a ZPM. Daniel sat there, stunned, for several minutes, contemplating what he held in his hand. Then he stashed the book in his desk and made his way to Sam's lab.

After a handful of pleasantries, he asked with a casualness he didn't feel, if they'd ever scanned Earth itself for the unique energy signature associated with ZPMs.

Sam chattered on about 'soil and rock density' and 'graviton emissions and 'decay modes' while Daniel bit his lip and smiled and nodded like he was listening. He completely understood Jack's 'Aht! Bottom line it for me!', attitude. After what seemed like hours, she finally wound down.

Daniel squinted. "So... that's a, yes-we-looked, but no-we-didn't-find-any' kinda answer then?" he summarized.

She grinned. "In a nutshell."

"Thanks," he said as he turned to leave.

"That's it?" she called after him. "Did you find something?"

He turned back around to face her and shook his head sadly. "Nah, I wish; just a crazy thought." Then he shuffled back to his office, his heart pounding.

He knew they could do it. The ZPM might not be on Earth now, but it had been on Earth then; the illustration more or less proved it. They had the time machine, they could go back in time to Giza, 3,000BC, get it, bring it back here and... then what?

He took the volume out of the drawer and looked at the illustration again. _This was his chance to finally get to Atlantis._

Daniel weighed the likelihood of being able to convince Jack and the powers that be to take the risk, and judged that to be excellent. He considered the possibility of mechanical or Ancient failure along the way, and decided those were both probably negligible.

Then he thought about the possibility of something going wrong once they'd gone back in time. About what could happen if one of them touched or said or did something that changed the timeline as they knew it.

The timeline where the Replicators had been wiped out and the Jaffa were nearly free, the Goa'uld nothing more than occasional comic relief. The same timeline where Sam and Pete were again engaged to be married, and he and Jack were finally lovers and were enormously happy together.

With no small amount of guilt for the fate to which he might be condemning Atlantis, Daniel set the priceless book on the corner of his desk. He reached across it for a pen, the cuff of his BDUs recklessly spilling yesterday's leftover coffee all across the dangerous picture. He watched the murky brown liquid soak into the fibers of the paper until he was certain the image was destroyed, then he quickly tore the page from the book so as not to damage the rest of the priceless pages with his carelessness. Yes, Daniel decided as he set the ruined page into his trashcan, they'd _all_ gone through enough already, and it was simply too great a risk.

He picked up his phone and dialed Jack's number. "I'm feelin' like a nice, juicy steak tonight; wanna see if Sam and Pete and Teal'c can join us?"

**Author's Note:**

> Alpha and Beta love to Jude, forever and always. All remaining mistakes are my own.


End file.
